Yesterday I went for my last blood test and consultation prior to next week's chemo session, the last in the series. Sometime in the next couple of weeks I'll be having a scan and four weeks yesterday I find out the results. Has the chemo worked or are we back to square one?
I've had a mixed time over the last twelve weeks while filling my veins with a cocktail of chemicals. Tiredness and fatigue have been gradually building up to the point where some days I can hardly put one foot in front of the other. Next weekend and the few days after is going to be very hard work as the last of the drips take their full toll of my body, and then hopefully things will slowly get back to normal. I've been hit by the finger and toe tingles, but not had the sickness and have kept my hair so it's not been as bad as it could have. No doubt It's going to take a few weeks to get my strength and immune system back to the proper levels, but that's something to look forward to.
What I'm unsure about is whether or not I'm looking forward to the scan results. I've now got four weeks of wondering if the last twelve have worked or been in vain. I'm not normally a person who worries about things -que sera sera etc. - but I'm sure that October will be dotted with doubts. Am I going to get a break from hospitals, doctors and nurses, wonderful though they are? Has this nasty disease been stopped in its tracks or does more treatment lie ahead? Will I be able to go back to work before Christmas and get my life back to what used to pass as normal before all this kicked off?
The last three months have been hard work physically, and I expect the next four weeks to be hard mentally. I can only look on the bright side, stay positive and hope I'm proved right to have thought that way. Anything else isn't me. I'll just have to cross the other bridge and get on with it if ever I arrive at it.
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