Hospital Obsessions

Catheters and Mayonnaise. What do these two very  diverse topics have in common? Well, in my local hospitals it seems to be that whatever is wrong with you, a catheter has to be fitted and your sandwiches have to include mayonnaise!

I can understand that after major surgery draining the bladder is important and I have no problem with that, but I sometimes wonder if doctors are on commission for this particular piece of equipment. Earlier this year I had a uteric stent removed and attempts to replace it proved impossible. In fact so many attempts were made that my eyes were watering over a week later! You will understand therefore why when a couple of weeks ago I was hauled into hospital and the doc said they wanted to catheterise I declined. In all the time I have been under treatment this was the first occasion I've ever gone against the recommendation of a doctor.

A little later another doctor came and asked again, so I queried again why. The conversation went something along these lines:

Why do I need a catheter?
We need to monitor your urine output.
I have no problem passing water.
Yes but we need to measure your input and output.
Up to now I've been peeing in a bottle and it's measured from there.
Yes but a catheter would be better.
Is it going to make me pass more water?
No.
Right, we'll stick with the bottle.

Round one to me!

On Friday of last week I was taken back into a different hospital for 24hrs IV fluid. Guess what. "We want to put a catheter in". The conversation went very much along the lines of the previous encounter, and I made it quite plain that unless it was a matter of life and death nothing was going up there again! We continued with the jug and I'm none the worse for wear.

Round 2 to me!

So where does mayonnaise come into all this? Well, it doesn't really, but it came across as another obsession within our local NHS. Hospital food is not the best. In fact round here it's pretty crap, but we have to eat so are given the daily menu. Not having a great appetite at the moment I settled on sandwiches. The choice? Chicken and Mayo, Tuna and Mayo, Egg Mayo, Cheese and Mayo! Why? The whole world, including be does NOT like mayo, but there is no option here. Why not make the sandwiches without dressing and offer a sachet of mayo, or is that too simple?

It obviously is.

Rant over!